The Dilemma of Parents with High Expectations
Parents with high expectations assume that all parents have high expectations of their children. Well this is just not true. Most parents have expectations, but they just aren’t that high. What makes high expectations high by definition, is that they are above most others.
With that out the way, let’s get to the point. Parents with high expectations always face the same dilemma in their early years of raising children.
- Do they focus on molding their child into the image they believe is best for the child’s future?
- Or, do they focus on developing their child’s innate gifts and talents and allow their child to define their own future?
From a decision making perspective, option 1 is easier than option 2. Going with option 1 is the equivalent of governing through a dictatorship, while option 2 is more like a democracy.
For this reason, instinctively most parents lean towards option 1. If the parent was an artist, they push their kids into the arts. If the parent was an athlete, they push their kids into sports. On and on this goes.
Option 2 is by far the harder, less used approach. Option 2 requires strengths based parenting, which requires parents to invest both time and money in discovering and developing a child’s natural talents. This also requires parents to show humility and relinquish control if their child is not naturally gifted in the specific areas desired.
Obviously, I can’t tell you which parenting choice is best for your family. However, I can tell you that it’s often proven that the harder choice, that requires more time, money, and effort leads to better outcomes.