Self-Esteem Self-Confidence Hierarchy – What Level Are You?
There are four levels in the self-esteem self-confidence hierarchy. Knowing where in the hierarchy your belief system resides is critical for personal growth.
- High Self-Esteem, High Self-Confidence
- High Self-Esteem, Low Self-Confidence
- Low Self-Esteem, High Self-Confidence
- Low Self-Esteem, Low Self-Confidence
High self-esteem, low self-confidence is something I’m personally working to change. But before I break down each level in the self-esteem self-confidence hierarchy, let’s first establish our definition of self-esteem and self-confidence.
Self-Esteem: A feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities.
As explained on Psychology Today :
“Esteem” is derived from the Latin aestimare, meaning “to appraise, value, rate, weigh, estimate,” and self-esteem is our cognitive and, above all, emotional appraisal of our own worth. More than that, it is the matrix through which we think, feel, and act, and reflects and determines our relation to ourselves, to others, and to the world.
Self-Confidence: A feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment.
As explained on Psychology Today :
“Confidence” comes from the Latin fidere, “to trust.” To be self-confident is to trust in oneself, and, in particular, in one’s ability or aptitude to engage successfully or at least adequately with the world. A self-confident person is ready to rise to new challenges, seize opportunities, deal with difficult situations, and take responsibility if and when things go awry.
To sum up the difference, self-esteem is to respect oneself and self-confidence is to trust oneself. You will see how respect vs. trust impacts ones belief system as we walk through the self-esteem self-confidence hierarchy below.
High Self-Esteem, High Self-Confidence
Having high self-esteem and high self-confidence is a great space for you to live in. You respect yourself enough to not come off as arrogant and you don’t need the approval of others to feed your self-worth. In addition, you trust yourself to lead people, learn new things, and make people laugh. This combination of self-beliefs is highly productive for attaining a variety of goals in life.
High Self-Esteem, Low Self-Confidence
Living with a high self-esteem, low self-confidence belief system is not all that bad. This is where I am in the hierarchy. I really do respect myself and I respect the value I bring to the world. I’m able to not only focus on myself, but also on the needs of others around me.
I care enough about my health, my appearance, and my emotional intelligence to make it a priority in my life. While at the same time, I have enough self-awareness to not let this self-respect turn into narcissism. This makes me an excellent team player and at a bare minimal tolerable to be around in a social setting.
However, the Achilles heel of this belief system is the uneasiness with being the center of attention. This becomes especially prevalent in social settings, public speaking and in leadership. It’s not that high self-esteem, low self-confidence people can’t be successful as the center of attention, it’s more that you avoid these situations. By avoiding these situations, opportunities to grow better in them are missed. What’s more, when it comes to learning new skills and doing new activities a level of anxiety prevents you from getting the most of it.
Low Self-Esteem, High Self-Confidence
Low Self-Esteem, High Self-Confidence people are probably the least enjoyable people to be around. It’s likely that if you’re in this stage of the self-esteem self-confidence hierarchy you would never admit it. Low self-esteem, high self-confidence people love being the center of attention because they need other people to validate their self-worth.
These people typically yearn to learn new skills, travel to exotic places, own luxury products, as well as attain multiple degrees and certificates to prove their selves to the world. In addition, every chance they get they will tell you about their achievements and come off as overconfident / conceited. Because their belief system has limited their ability to derive their value internally, the need for external validation is immense.
Unfortunately, this need for external validation is a dominate personality trait. That is good for achieving amazing feats of success. However, it’s not good for maintaining long-term relationships and mental health.
Low Self-Esteem, Low Self-Confidence
It’s likely extremely challenging to suffer from being on the lowest level of the self-esteem self-confidence hierarchy. I personally don’t know anyone who I would consider having low self-esteem and low self-confidence. I assume there are people like this in my life, but as a defense mechanism they have learned to hide it. However, the internal struggle of lacking self-esteem and self-confidence must be painful.
Since I don’t have personal experience at this level of the self-esteem self-confidence hierarchy, there nothing more I can add. Although, if you do recognize that you have low self-esteem and low self-confidence, getting professional help is an action step I wouldn’t delay.